Learning to understand Suicide,

First let me just say this, I think we all from time to time have thought of or even condsider Suicide. All my life i have thought of it from time to time but have never been brave enough to go through with it. because for me there was always the thought of another day that may change my life, another day that i may fine that true happiness. I guess for the ones of us that hold on and fine True Love, True Happiness, and True Peace in our heart we are the Blessed and lucky ones. and for those of us who do decide to really go through with Suicide , I can only hope that they fine the peace , Joy , and happiness that they could'nt fine on earth... and for the ones they leave behind, they began a life of wondering,,, what could I have done, or why didnt i see this coming, or why was'nt I able to see his or her misery, so much goes on in the heads of the ones that are left behind. but yet we all find the way back to at least a little peice of sanati. On Oct 06 2007 My baby brother who was 38 years old ,hung himself on my sister back porch. he had suffered for two years with depression. and had turned to drugs,... Meth an coke, with in six month he had lost his wife , house friends , and even his teeth. they had rotted out that fast from the drugs... its was so sad to see him go down hill so fast.. and not to understand his pain. it wasnt because i didnt try to understand . because i think we all tried very hard to understand his depression and his addiction to drugs... he wasnt a bad person at all ,,, before he got on the meth and other drugs , he was a loving father a husband a son, a brother and a hard worker, he had a big heart with lots of love to give. but within six months he went from being all of that to being someone that was hard to be around you never knew what you were going to have to put up with because if he didnt get his fix he was really mean and rud and would also get abusive and even try to hurt his family and friends that would try to help him.. he was in and out of the hospital to many times to even mention. he had just gotten out of the hopsital two days before he finally suceeded. its been eight months now and We all still miss him so much but there is no turning back with suicide once it´s done its done, and from his death i have learned so much.... its not always depression that kills a person, its the drugs that help them do things they would not normally do... i have also learned . To Listen,, and i mean Really Listen when someone says that going to kill them self. it use to be i could hear someone say they were going to harm themself and i would think what ever... you more like me you think it say it but you will never do it... Wrong people ,, if there thinking it and if they say it then take it very serious. I have learn to live,love, laugh, and most of all continue to be as happy in every aspect of my life as i poisible can. this to me is my goal to myself these days. Today i was with a Great Girlfriend of mine R. we had gone to a island here in Panama Rep de Panama. while there swimming all i could think about was the beauty that my brother had mist out on because he decided to do what he did. and i said a pray to god that my brother could see the beauty through my eyes. then it was like an angel voice from heaven that told me that my brother could see all kinds of beauty now.. so i guess this is another sign of healing.. i have gone from being so mad i could have wraped his ass for doing what he did. then i hated him for doing it, then i realized that it was his decision and even through i thought it was a selfess act. i could at least be grateful that he suceeded and it was a instant death.. so for now i guess im doing good with the healing process. i would love to have comment on other people whom have been dealing with the loss of a love one from suicide , or anyone that is thinking about doing harm to there self .. please HOLD on another day.. it will get better i promise... just for now remember if you feel like you cannot go on.. there is hope. contact me . lets work though this. together we can over come together we can get you to a happier day.. ok. god bless everyone . and thanks for reading my blog.